Soaring on wings

Isaiah 40:31

" . . . They will soar on wings . . ."

I was at church yesterday, sitting outside at the edge of the pond just praying, asking the Lord to help me be more willing and trusting to surrender my life to Him, and He did! He did by showing me what it was like to just let go, and afterwards I felt much more able to start taking those steps to surrender. While I was sitting there praying and enjoying the breeze, a flock of birds (much smaller than the bird in the picture) swooped down from the trees and started flying around the pond. Then they started gliding around, spreading their little wings and just floating along with the breeze. Sometimes they would come so close to the water that I thought that they would just fall right in with delicate little splashes! And then after being close to the water for a while, they would glide through the fountain, up into the sky, and then come back down to do it all over again.

Rarely did they ever flap their wings. The birds were just surrendering to the wind, letting it take them wherever it went. I really want to be like that, spreading my wings and soaring as the Lord promises in Isaiah 40:31. I can safely say that my life becomes a completely trashed, unorganized mess whenever I try to conduct it. It just doesn't work for very long! But it's during those times that I just give in to the Lord and let Him take me, I find myself being more loving towards others and just closer to the Lord. People seem to think that giving control to God means becoming His captive or His slave. No, giving control to God is what sets ourselves free from ourselves. By ourselves we are sinful, needy, controlling, stressed out and a whole bunch of other stuff. With God, however, we are sinless, our needs are fulfilled, we give up control, and I personally find myself less stress. That's freedom!

At the lake, there were some times when the birds would flap their wings which I found interesting. A while back ago I was in a group discussion and someone mentioned the Lord being like our Father taking us into an ice cream shop. My mom, best friend and I went out for ice cream just after I got my drivers license. My mom didn't choose what flavors of ice cream my friend and I got - we got to choose. God is the same way sometimes. Sometimes He will let us choose what we want to do and where we want to go in certain areas of our lives. Whether or not we make the wiser or better choice, the Lord is with us, reminding us that He is there, He is proud, and that if it wasn't the better choice, that He will make up for it. That's like the birds pausing in their gliding every now and again to flap their wings and choose their own course for a while. They didn't flap for long, though. After a while they would glide again with the wind.

It was beautiful! I wish that I could go back and watch the birds fly all day and night long. But I'm content with the message God sent to me through them, and I am very thankful. I thought I would share this in hopes that it would encourage you as more or even more than it encouraged me. Thanks for reading!

"The Motions"

Another update about healthy food!

I used to get sick a lot. I don't know why - maybe it was a weak immune system or something? But recently, I haven't been getting sick as often, which I am very thankful for! I really like the feeling of being able to live life without being brought down by sickness, and I REALLY want to keep it up. Last night I went to the store and walked through all of the isles, scrounging for healthy food. Anyway, while I was wandering around, Matthew West's new single came to mind. It's called "The Motions". Here's the iTunes URL if you want to check it out: http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?i=271001068&id=271001060&s=143441


"This might hurt, it's not safe
But I know that I've gotta make a change
I don't care if I break,
At least I'll be feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

No regrets, not this time
I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love make me whole
I think I'm finally feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life

'Cause I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

Take me all the way (take me all the way)
Take me all the way ('cause I don't wanna go through the motions)
Take me all the way (I know I'm finally feeling something real)
Take me all the way . . ."

The song reminds me of my desire to live life to the fullest, and not just going through the motions, especially the "Take me all the way . . ." parts. I don't want my life to be half-lived, I do want to be taken all the way! I feel like the Lord has big plans for me and let's face it, it's tough to do big things when you're feeling weak and running a fever, right? I so want to be able to just go and go and go and live life to glorify God while feeling good and not being beat down by colds or stomach viruses. Those are blah . . . God is great!

Be sure to check out Matthew West's new album "Something To Say" on iTunes. I've listened to it, and I doubt you'll be disappointed. Thanks for reading. Take care! :)
http://www.matthewwest.com/

MercyMe's Cover Tune Grab Bag

I've finally gotten a chance to watch MercyMe's cover tunes. I have gained a whole new respect from this band - they are simply AMAZING - hahaha! Here is a selection of my favorite cover tunes by MercyMe.




Bart's facial expression at 1:55 (after Robby drops his drum) is priceless!!!





0:44 "My FAAAAATHER yells . . ." hahahaha!!!
1:52 "SOME FUN!!!" too funny!!!








Talk about community, right?





Bart's kiddies!


I am loving these guys! I really think that they are my favorite band right now.

I've got the sore throat blues.

Hey everyone!

I think the title of this entry is a little dramatic because I'm not really down or feeling blue or anything, but I do have a sore throat. I felt great all day yesterday, but started to feel a headache and a sore throat coming on last night. Today I went to algebra class as usual, and afterwards went to Walgreens to pick up some peppermints for my throat. I was excited because they have them on sale! Yay! Haha . . .

Anyway . . . I'm pretty much on a peppermint, hot tea, chicken noodle soup, and Popsicle diet today. I'm going to Vineyard University to help teach a elementary class / lead worship. I'm hoping, praying, and believing in God that this sore throat won't interfere, nor will it turn into any real sickness because I have a busy weekend ahead. Prom on Friday, and volunteering on both Saturday and Sunday. Looks like it's gonna be a great weekend! :)

That's pretty much all I have to say for the time being. I'll update later on, hopefully with something more exciting.

Investing in relationships

Lately I've noticed myself cherishing my friendships and relationships more than I used to. Not to say that I didn't cherish my friends before, but now after I have the honor of talking to someone, I'll just stop and be thankful for the time spent with them, no matter how short it was. I don't know why this is happening either, but I know that I REALLY want to feel this more, and I want to be able to express the appreciation, you know? I was just (literally 10 minutes ago) trying to think of ways that I could do this, but nothing really came to mind. After a few more minutes of thought, I felt the Lord telling me to invest in my relationship with Him first, and that the others would follow. That makes sense! I mean, He is the first and everything revolves around Him, right?

I remember in church several months ago, we talked about the question of what to do when we get lost or side-tracked in our spiritual journeys, and the answer was, "Come back to the cross!"

Come back to God, come back to the beginning, come back to where it started, allow the Lord to renew you and then get back on the right path. I feel that the same definitely applies to our relationship. If you want to become a better friend, strengthen your current relationships, or whatever, focus on your relationship with the Lord for a while. Learn from the best friend that there could ever be and learn how to appreciate and cherish your relationship with Him a little more. Really invest in your relationship with Him!

I thought I'd share this because it's been at the front of my mind for a while now. I'm super excited for tonight - I'm going to Young Life for the first time in a long time. Really, really great people are there, and I'm excited to see them again.

Adios!

Babysitting, book update, and sweet music!

Hello, reader!

I'm posting from another location. I'm currently babysitting for the Bryant's, though the kids are all fast asleep. Before she left, Robyn and I had a little time to chat and she told me that she hoped CoCo (the baby girl) would warm up to me this time AND SHE DID!!! We (Connor, Tyler, CoCo, and myself) went outside and she actually crawled over to me and reached out for my hands. The past couple of times she's crawled AWAY from me like I was some scary monster! Anyway, she took my hands and we walked around the yard until she got tired. I also got to play basketball and football with the boys, which was fun. They each picked me a flower which was very, very sweet of them.

After the outdoor festivities, we went inside and put CoCo to bed. Then I sat the boys down for a special activity - cards! We got creative and wrote out "Happy Easter" cards. I wrote one for each of the kids, and the boys made some for Pete and Robyn. Tyler made four or five (he was on a crazy roll) and Connor made two. The cards are currently sitting on the kitchen counter and will hopefully bless Mommy and Daddy when they get home.

So that's what I've been up to tonight! I wanted to post about an interesting little "happening" with the book. I was trying to think of a title for a song mentioned in the first chapter, and Kasey (she keeps me in check, making sure I get something done each day, and helps me when I'm stuck in a brainstorm or something) suggested having the song be titled in Spanish. One thing led to another, and now the Sullivan family (main family in the book) have relatives in Honduras. Ryan's mother will be from Honduras, to be exact. I'm actually really excited about this. I've been learning a lot about the country since this developed, and it sounds like a very nice place.

There's the book update for you! One more thing before I go - check out MercyMe's latest album, "All That Is Within Me". It is simply stunning! My (current) favorite tracks are, "Finally Home" and "Time Has Come" so I definitely recommend the album to you.

Okay, this really will be the last thing. If you like Phil Wickham, his album, "Singalong" is available for free download on his website: philwickham.com

Phil is great, has a wonderful voice, and it's so easy to tell that his heart is on fire for God! You might want to check him out, also.

Goodnight!!!

Blogging in the rain.

Hey guys!

Wow, I haven't updated this in a while. I also have been slower updating on Twitter, so it's safe to say I've been an internet slacker as of late, which is nothing terrible. But I'm going to start updating more often again, Yay!

It's storming pretty badly right now. I'm sitting here on the couch looking at the rain and listening to the distant thunder. It's kind of nice! There were tornadoes being reported earlier, so I'm hoping that it doesn't get that bad again.

Anyway, I wanted to share a few things that went on this past weekend. It started on Friday - I was privelaged to lead worship and the Healing Center. I was talking to a friend afterwards and I told her it was like a glimpse of what it might like to be on tour since I was the first worship leader of five, and then she asked me what I would name a band if I ever had the chance. I still haven't come up with an answer . . . Ideas? Yeah, while Jenn Silver led worship later on, a woman named Pam pulled me aside and introduced me to (what was to me, at least) a whole new way of worship. Dance! She had three really nice . . . I guess you could call them shawls, and she gave me one and taught me a dance!

I felt so free while we were dancing. Praising God with mind, voice, soul, and body was simply amazing. Dance worship is most definitely something I would like to learn more about. Also, I met a girl named Ashley. She was one of the worship leaders, and we were paired up during a blindfold excersize. She is absolutely wonderful, and I'm truly, truly inspired by her. Hopefully I'll get to see her again, soon!

So yesterday my grandma took me out to see a movie. We saw "Monsters Vs. Aliens" which is currently the #1 movie in the nation. If I used a school-like grading system, I would give it a D which in my world stands for DON'T SEE IT. It's an interesting idea for a movie I guess - nothing that hasn't been tried before only with a couple of twists, but unless you're 13 years old or younger, you're not going to be too thrilled with it. If you have a son, daughter, little sibling, neice, or nephew, then I would recommend taking them to see it. Otherwise, save your money. I'm not trying to bash the creators or anything, I'm just saying . . .

Stephen Colbert was in the movie! He was the funniest character for sure, and it was definitely funny that he played the president. Too funny!

Anyway, that's pretty much what I've been up to over the past few days. I've been working on the book a lot, too! I'm actually working on a chapter that's way ahead of where I actually am (if that makes sense) but it's going well! I might post a little bit of it later on.

Thanks for reading! I'm off to watch The Rock and Worship Roadshow. It's being streamed live on the internet tonight which is super cool! The show is in Bossier city tonight, with Addison Road, Tenth Avenue North, Hawk Nelson, Jeremy Camp, and MercyMe!

http://www.therockandworshiproadshow.com/ Check it out!

Take care! Thanks again for reading.

Girl's night!

Last night was amazing! Actually, the whole day was amazing. I got to go visit a college that I've been looking into, and met some of my mom's old work colleagues. They were all really, really nice!
Next time I'll go and take a closer look at the program I've been interested in.

So in the evening I went to the Vineyard Student Union for girl's night! I got there early to hang out with Jenn and Cbryn, which was a great time as always. Oh! We popped over to the middle school auditorium and watched "Talon" perform some sweet cover songs.
I remember being in middle school. Gosh, it seems like forever ago! What's really funny is that most of the middle schoolers there are taller than me. I fit in the with 5th graders, and some of them are taller than me too!

Jenn, Cbryn, and I were privileged to kick off girl's night with some really powerful worship. Our song list looked like this:

Here I Am To Worship
Lead Me To The Cross
Fire Fall Down

Cbryn had the idea to add Jeremy Riddle's "Full Attention" and then Jenn had the idea to wrap it all up by going back and singing the chorus of "Here I Am To Worship" again. Both were absolutely wonderful ideas! I'm so thrilled and honored to have been a part of the worship with Jenn, Cbryn, and everyone else in the room.

After worship we did some breakout sessions. I went in with Steph and Megan to hear about their high school / college lives and the events that have brought them to where they are today. It made me realize just how crazy things can work out sometimes.

Of course, we played some games. "If you really knew me . . ." being the first, which made me feel great and awkward at the same time. I LOVED learning about the girls in my circle, but talking about myself is just . . . I don't like it. I just blurted out a bunch of random facts. Megan started cracking up when I mentioned kicking one of my own teeth out in Taekwondo class.

We played Sardines! The best part was hiding under the stage in the middle school auditorium. It had an eerie feel to it, like we were "hiding from the Nazis" as someone mentioned while we were down there.

I ended up staying awake until about 5:30, mostly talking to Sidney, Kasey, and Sam. I did get to watch a few rounds of the Crazy Ninja game, which is hilarious to watch!

I really, really hope we get to have more times like that soon. The bonding was just amazing! Oh! And I learned that a girl there lives in my neighborhood! I foresee much hanging out over the summer.
Oh yeah!

Bad economy? Maybe it's time for us to invest in PEOPLE!

I am so angry right now! I heard the absolutely silliest thing on TV, and I don't mean "silliest" in a good way at all. Perhaps I'm ignorant when it comes to the news because I have absolutely no idea who Bernard Madoff is, but he's apparently in a lot of trouble. (If anyone who reads this wants to fill me in on what happened, then please be my guest, because I'm very confused)

Anyway, I wasn't even listening to the TV when I heard that "silliest" thing. I was cleaning up the living room, and I'm pretty sure I had my iPod on when I heard it. It was so ridiculous that I heard it through my music, which had to have been at half volume at least. Anyway (again), I was just minding my own, picking up my nephew's toys and whatnot when all of a sudden I heard this . . .

"Madoff and his wife are worth a whopping 823 millions dollars."

My jaw hit the floor. Before I knew it, my iPod was shut off, ear buds taken out, and I my complete attention was fixed on the TV. I'm not sure exactly what the guy was trying to say - maybe that Madoff and his wife have that much money? If that's what he meant, couldn't he have at least worded it differently? How could anyone put a price on anyone else, especially if the price is something as fragile as money!

It made me wonder . . . If Madoff and his wife are worth 823 million dollars, how much money is that kid who sits alone at lunch every day worth? Have we really come to such an all-time low point that we're resorting to placing price labels on our fellow human beings? If you ask me, we shouldn't care if the person is "worth" 823 million dollars or if the person has 823 million, we need to start seeing people in the light that God sees them in. He looks down at us and sees kings and queens, beloved children, all priceless in His sight. He looks at a homeless man and sees a man who will hopefully move on to inherit the kingdom of Heaven. He looks at a widow and loves her like a groom never could. Don't you think it's about time we started doing the same?

I certainly do.

Why do we settle for bad things when we're trying to be good?

So I've been eating healthy food lately, and exercising a lot. Now, this is all for health purposes, mind you, not because I'm trying to lose weight or anything. I was talking to a dear friend last night and he joked,

"You can't lose weight - there's nothing left for you to lose!"

"I've got 85 pounds of nothing." I replied.

Yes, I only weigh 85 pounds, and have never ever broken 90. What's up with that? I eat a lot, but I don't gain anything! It's called a fast metabolism . . . Very, very fast, and it's a family trait from my dad's side. I don't want to be a twig forever, but this fast metabolism will be my best friend in the future, I'm sure (and have also been told many, many, many times before, haha!).

Okay, now to relate this post to the title.

Like I said before, I've been eating really well and working out a lot lately, trying to keep myself in good health so that I can go out and do good things without the hassle of getting sick as often as I used to. Two nights ago after I ate good, healthy food all day and exercised some, I had me an ice cream sandwich!

"I did really well today, so why not have a treat?" I asked myself.

Ready for the funny part? One ice cream sandwich apparently wasn't enough, because I went ahead and had a second! They were good, too! Haha! Anyway, it made me wonder . . . Why in the world is it that when we're trying to do good things, we settle for crap?

People try so hard to watch what they eat. All day they'll count calories, drink more water and all of that good stuff. But how do they reward themselves? With a great big treat, which is exactly what they're trying to break away from. Does it do anybody any good? I just don't get it . . . And I'm obviously just as guilty, with my two ice cream sandwiches. (Haha!)

If anything, the ice cream will do me good. Maybe it'll help me gain weight or something! My gosh, after bike riding and running, my legs feel like mush! (So if you see me walking like a toddler, don't be surprised)

I've been eating healthier, yes, but I've been eating MORE which will hopefully help me to get in shape and gain weight or help me to not lose weight. I'd loooove to break 90 pounds sometimes soon, haha!

Take care!!!

This is the wife I want to be . . .

So last night (thanks to a very, very dear friend of mine), I went to see my favorite musical artist in concert, and it was truly a blessing. His name is David Archuleta - perhaps you've heard of him - and not only is he talented musically, he is just such a sweet young man with his head on straight, and a true heart for God. He was the runner up on American Idol in 2007, and one of his performances was a song called, "Angels" after the season was over, the original writer allowed David to record "Angels" and put it on his own album, so he did.

It was his last song of the night, and as he sang it, the lyrics spoke to me and made me realize what kind of wife I want to be.

- - -

"I sit and wait
Does an angel contemplate my fate?
And do they know the places were we go
When we're grey and old?

'Cause I've been told that salvation let's their wings unfold
So when I'm lying in my bed, thoughts running through my head
And I feel that love is dead . . .
I'm loving angels instead

Through it all she offers me protection
A lot of love and affection
Whether I'm right or wrong . . .
Down the waterfall, wherever it may take me
I know that life won't break me, when I come to call
She won't forsake me . . . I'm loving angels instead.

When I'm feeling weak
And my pain walks down a one way street
I look above, and I know I'll always be blessed with love
And as the feeling grows, she breathes flesh to my bones
And I feel that love is dead . . .
I'm loving angels instead . . ."

- - -

That to me paints the picture of an absolutely wonderful wife, especially the chorus. Through everything I believe we need to offer our husbands protection, love, and affection no matter what the situation, (with the exception of some, of course) and my most favorite line is, "She won't forsake me . . ."

Gosh, I want my husband to say that about me someday!

"Life is like a box of chocolates ..."

I don't know why, but suddenly Forrest Gump is one of my favorite movies. I've always liked it, but could never really get into it until now. After watching it recently and really focusing on the story I realized something ...

I want to be like Forrest Gump.

I'm just so inspired by him and his personality, not to mention how passionately he loves the people around him. When his mother was sick, he swam and ran across who knows what distances until he was by her side. He was loyal to Bubba, and ran into the line of fire to save him. He was loyal and submissive to his superior, Lieutenant Dan. And most of all, he loved Jenny with all of his heart.

Speaking of that, Forrest's love for Jenny reminds me so much of God's love for us. Jenny is a mess from the get go, and just spirals down on a destructive path, returning to Forrest every so often but falling back into the arms of the world soon after. And yet Forrest waits for her, and even after she breaks his heart again and again, his love for her never fails. He marries Jenny and takes the very best care of her even after everything she put him through.

See the connection?


Forrest's unconditional love for everyone around him is an inspiration to me. But wait, there's more!

"Life is like a box of chocolates - you never know what you're gonna get."

Amen to that! I love watching how Forrest reacts to whatever is thrown his way. He doesn't seem to worry about most things, but rather, he goes with it, giving his best to every situation rather than letting the situations get the best of him. Especially when he meets the little boy and learns that he is actually his son. From that moment on Forrest is right there to love him and raise him. I want to be like that.


When it comes to movies, it takes A LOT to make me cry, but there is one scene in the movie that makes me cry every single time.



"If there's anything you need, I won't be far away."

Keep in mind that this is after she dies. He still loves her so much that he's standing by to fulfill her needs. Wow ... That is true love, and I want to be like that!

Random Update

I'm amused by how often I update my blog on Wednesdays and Thursdays ... I guess those are just my blog days!

What can I say, it's been a difficult two weeks for me. I've just been running in each and every direction trying to help others live their own lives while trying to get up on my own two feet (school, driving, earning money, etc. etc.) and it's just been crazy. I will admit that I think I'm in over my head, the problem is that I can't get out of this crazy hole I've fallen into. Hopefully things will get better ...?

I do ask for whoever is reading this to be praying for me. On Monday I got some surprising news (which I won't go into right now, but I will tell you that it's nothing really terrible) and I'm certain that it's a part of God's plan. The problem is that I'm being stubborn and unwilling to accept it and follow along, which is making me mad ... At myself.


Lately I've been listening to Tenth Avenue North. If by chance you haven't heard of them, you should totally check them out! They just did a show with Natalie Grant, Brandon Heath, and Phillip LaRue. Their song, "Love Is Here" has been on repeat for a while now. I think it applies to how I'm feeling.



Random thought ... That's one of the reasons I love music so much! No matter who you are, what you do, or where you're at in life, there's a song or genre that you can listen to and just connect with. It's so cool! Music is a gift from God!

I hope to start writing some more songs soon.

Take care!!!

My New Babysitting Job!

I'm proud to say that I have my first official job! That is, if you consider babysitting to be an official job. A friend of mine is paying me $10 a day to watch her four month old daughter, Kaylee, and man oh man is she a beautiful baby girl! $10 is perfect for both her and I. For now, it's all she can afford to pay considering she just started a job today, and I don't need a whole bunch of money anway, plus I get to spend time with the baby and watch her as she grows up. For now we're thinking four to six days a week, but considering that I've spent the last 2 years helping raise my nephew, this should be great! I love babies!

Tonight was my first night of babysitting, and every time I looked at Kaylee I just had to wonder - how can people see these sweet little human beings and still deny God's existence? Now, I know that there are many people who look at babies and wonder how anyone who sees them can believe in a God, but for me it's just eye opening.

The baby in the picture posted above is Kaylee. To think that He took the time to give this baby a name, a personality, a body ... To think that He has numbered every hair on her precious head, and knows of every thought she will think, every word she will speak, every sin she will commit, and every tear she will cry. I'm so excited to be a part of her life! I cannot wait to see what God has in store for His little princess.

25 Random Things

You've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

1. I hate orange and everything related. I hate the color, I hate the fruit, I hate orange juice ... Period. If I'm ever eating Skittles or some other candy of assorted colors, I will purposely take out the orange pieces.

2. I refuse to wear makeup. More power to anyone who wears it but it makes me feel uneasy, and strangely enough, it makes me feel self conscious.

3. I come from a broken family, and sometimes take it upon myself to pick up the pieces where it's not necessary, which always ends in some sort of emotional distress.

4. I think it would be neat to someday see a tornado with my own two eyes, without a TV screen in the way. Only if it was in some wide open field and didn't destroy any homes or kill any people.

5. I listen to "Lovers in Japan" by Coldplay every morning while I'm waking up!

6. I'm a tennis FANATIC! Rafael Nadal is my all time favorite player (vamos!) and I drive my family crazy whenever there's a live match on TV, because I'm sitting on the floor screaming at it. I'm hoping to be coached by my uncle someday.

7. My feet are hypermobile, which means I'm missing some muscle near my ankles. This causes trouble for my hips, knees, feet, and also throws off my balance. Sometimes when I'm standing in one spot I'll tip over, not so much to fall down, but enough to make people look and go, "Huh?" The doctors say I'll need screws put in my knees when I'm about 30 years old to fix it.

8. If somebody says anything that reminds me of a song, I'll sing part of it. It's just a really weird impulse!

9. I seriously think I have Pharmacophobia (fear of taking medicine / pills), but I have no idea why! I just get so scared when I have to take medicine, that is unless it's in the form of a shot. If it's in a needle, bring it on!!!

(I'm so weird!)

10. My favorite cereal is Honey Bunches of Oats! *thumbs up*

11. Music is my passion. Name any genre and I love it: opera, heavy metal, jazz, country, hip hop, indie, folk, rap, classical, pop, blues, zydeco ... You name it!

12. I went for an allergy test last year (the one where they scratch you with those little sharp things over and over and over again) and the only thing I had a reaction to was the one thing I wasn't supposed to react to ... The meds they give you to keep the reactions under control? Well, apparently I'm allergic to it.

13. I tend to pray best when I'm outside. In fact, some of the more deep and powerful times of prayer I've had have been when I was outside, pacing on my back porch.

14. I feel safest when I'm standing in front of the ocean.

15. I get very uneasy when going past semi trucks on the highway after almost being killed by one several years ago.

16. I'm not a big fan of TV. I actually think it's quite boring most of the time. I watch 3 shows for a total of about 3 1/2 hours a week.

17. This past Christmas, my grandmother gave me a necklace with a sterling silver charm shaped as two musical notes. It has become one of my favorite possessions, I wear it every day, and for some reason I hold onto it when I'm praying.

18. I played the violin three or so years ago, but only for a month. I'd LOVE to play again, and if ever I own a violin I'm going to name it Ol' Faithful!

19. One of my biggest pet peeves is having to leave voicemail messages, only because I SAY THE MOST AWKWARD CRAP that when I hang up the phone I literally ask myself, "What in the world did I just say??"

20. Lions are my favorite animals - they're just so majestic!

21. I love chewing gum, but I'm picky about it. I don't really like the fruity flavors, but I love cinnamon and anything minty!

22. I play "The game" and I'm pretty sure you've just lost. ;)

23. I have this strange habit of inviting people to play "What's your favorite" shortly after meeting them. I just think it's a cool way to get to know them better.

24. When I was little, I wanted to be a meteorologist. Even today, weather is a BIG interest of mine!

25. One of my favorite snacks: Boiled eggs on Triscuits with green tea (refrigerated, of course) it's delicious!!!

A Video for You!

A while back I created a little video about a Bible verse and some recent events - September 11th and the Virginia Tech massacre. More recently, I decided to revise it (plus my computer crashed and the original version was erased, so I didn't have much of a choice ... Oops!)

Here is the new and improved version:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7xNvSIEfuA

"Dear Memories"

Hello friends!
I wrote out some lyrics two nights ago, and I thought it'd be cool to share them with you. The song is not about me, mind you, no one close to me has died recently or anything (thank God!!!) but I'm hoping that maybe this song will encourage someone who is going through that pain of loss.

- - -

Verse one:
"I miss you, but I'm holding on
Pressing forward, trying to be strong
It's not easy without you hear,
And yet when I laugh, I feel that you are near.


Pre-chorus one:
My heart breaks, but I won't let you go
If I could tell you one thing, I'd want you to know ...


Chorus:
Dear memories fill up my mind
Of times we laughed and times we cried
And in my dreams I can hear you singing

I can see your eyes, I can see your smile
Why can't you come back for a while?
Until the day we meet again, I'll miss you
I'll miss you, my friend. (Instrumental)


Verse two:
It's been a year now, but nothing has changed
I still go to the park, and when I do I feel a little strange
I remember you doing backflips in the grass
I shake my head and ask myself
"Will this pain ever pass?"


Pre chorus two:
Why did you have to go away?
You were so young, what can I say?
The hurt is deep, I cannot sleep
But I still want you to know ... (Chorus)


Bridge:
I remember that night
You were lying there, still trying to fight
I whispered in your ear
"Oh, please don't cry, peace is near."
I held your hand, I prayed to God for another day
To hold you in my arms ...
... But you slipped away." (Instrumental, pre-chorus two, chorus)

- - -

So that's the song ... The lyrics, at least. I'm hoping to sit down with a guitar tonight and add some chords and what not. Maybe I'll even record a video of it. Who knows? :)

"Let the monsters see you smile ..."

The past 4 years have been difficult for me, and tonight I'm feeling really down for some odd reason. Nothing major, just a little blah. I don't want to go into a lot of detail, but I do want to share something that I've found to be incredibly encouraging. It's a song called, "Life is Beautiful" by Vega 4.

Before I go any further, I must warn you that even though "Life is Beautiful" is a good and uplifting song, Vega 4 is known for explicit lyrics (according to Amazon). But I came across this one song while watching a TV show and fell in love with it instantly!

The entire song is uplifting, with a really great sound, and lyrics about how life is beautiful, and how there are miracles all around us, but there is one line in the entire song that has encouraged me so much and continues to encourage me still:


"Let the monsters see you smile ...
Let them see you smile."


That pretty much sums up the attitude I've been trying to keep up with for the past 4 years. I'm not trying to make my life sound like a soap opera, but I've been through bad situation after bad situation after bad situation, like the enemy has just been throwing monsters at me to grab my ankles and drag me down. But through it all God has lifted me up out of their clutches time and time again, and He has given me the strength to overcome whatever the enemy has sent my way so far. Most of all He's helped me keep a positive attitude through it all - He's helped me to smile.

Over these past 4 years I've found so much comfort in just smiling. Even when I didn't feel like it, or when I don't feel like it, I'll do it anyway and I feel like any grip on my ankles is automatically weakened. It's like when the monsters see me smile, they see that what they are trying to do isn't working and they shrink back in fear, because they see that God is holding me up and isn't allowing me to fall into their traps, and they're afraid of that.

This is why I find those lyrics so powerful, because for me there is a lot of truth in them. So I hope that in the future when the monsters are lurking around, you'll be able to let them see you smile too.

Oversleeping

Hey guys! I hope your new year is off to a great start so far. :)

Well, something interesting happened on Tuesday night. I was working on the book, trying to revise a little paragraph from the first chapter, but my mind was wandering all over the place. After a long time of just sitting at the laptop without typing any words something finally came to me, and it ended up becoming one of the pieces I'm most happy with in the whole book (all 2 chapters of it)! A thought about making decisions brought this on ...

- - -

The boy rolled over onto his back and within moments could feel himself drifting off into a light doze.

“Just five more minutes of sleep and I’ll be good to go … No, get up! You’ve got school!”

RJ silently argued with himself. His mind was telling him to get up and get ready for the long day, and his body was begging him to stay in bed and rest. Unfortunately for RJ, his mind was quickly overruled.

“Just five more minutes …”

Five became ten, ten became twenty, twenty became thirty, and still RJ was curled up beneath his covers with no idea that he had fallen back into a deep sleep.

- - -

When it comes to making a decision between something good and something bad, why is it that the good something is never easy? Why do we seem to always want to side with what we want rather than our instincts? It's like failing a class and taking it again, we've all been taught this lesson but do we ever really learn it?

Like RJ, I've developed my own little habit of oversleeping, and it's really getting on my nerves. I hear the alarm, I turn it off, I think about getting up, but I go back to sleep. I even put the alarm clock on the opposite side of the room so I'd have to move around a little more to turn it off, but still, I get back in bed and go back to sleep.

What's up with that?

I know I need to discipline myself to wake up on time, but it takes discipline to discipline, and that's tough, especially when there's a lot going on in our lives - obstacles making discipline even harder than usual. I have a 2 year old nephew, and he throws tantrums in the morning. A lot of the time when I turn my alarm off, I'll hear him screaming in the living room, and that will totally seal the going back to sleep deal.

In RJ's case, his body (even if he has no idea yet) is trying to fight of a killer disease and it's literally eating away his energy. Normally, he's one of those kids who hears the alarm and jumps out of bed, animated, and ready to go. Being tired was his obstacle, he sided with what he wanted rather than his instincts, and he certainly pays the price in the end. He misses the bus and has to ride his bike all the way to school in cold, winter temperatures, and snow.

The price for my oversleeping is that my day gets thrown out of whack. I get in trouble for sleeping in, and I end up having to rush to get stuff done. It's just not worth it! I've decided to take more measures to make sure I wake up when I'm supposed to, such as setting an extra alarm on my cell phone to go off 5 minutes before the alarm clock. I hate the idea ... But if that doesn't work, I'll set another, and another, and another, until I get it right.

When did I start enjoying sleep so much?

As for RJ ... I think his was actually a lesson he learned right away, because he really hates being outside in the cold at six forty-five in the morning. That's cool to think about though, that the result of his decision was bad enough to keep him from making it again. Maybe that's what some of us need when it comes to making decisions. A kick in the right direction, you know?

This was pretty much all of the thought process that came from writing that one little paragraph. I've never been much of a writer, but I'm enjoying it more and more and more simply for the freedom, and because I learn a lot from it.

Thanks for reading!